“We all move on the fringes of eternity and are sometimes granted vistas through the fabric of illusion. Many refuse to admit it; some make mystical stews about it; I feel a mystery exists. There are certain times when, as on the whisper of wind, there comes the clear and quiet realization that there is indeed a presence in the world, a nonhuman entity that is not necessarily inhuman. I believe we are born with an incredible program for our life to be, tucked away in a small cranium and pressing to grow and function. I have often had a retrospective vision where everything in my past life seems to fall with significance into logical sequence. Intuition, suspicion, or confidence in new ventures: there is a strange strain within me when advantage is not taken of some situation, the immediacy of recognition of the rightness or wrongness of a mood, a response, a decision— they are so often valid that i am increasingly convinced that we have yet to grasp the reality of existence.” - Ansel Adams
I read this last night and I’m still trying to make some sense of it. I understand this feeling that he has. I believe that there is a deeper, overlooked connection to our world. He goes on to explain a few peculiar instances where something felt a certain way and turned out to be true. For example, he gives and anecdote: Adams was walking down the street in San Francisco and decided to stop in his tracks for no reason. As he stopped, a cinderblock dropped off a building two feet in front of him. I’ve had similar experiences before, I think we all have. We have these seeds of knowing buried deep within, and when something happens that proves it to be true, we are reminded of its familiarity, as if we knew it was coming. And maybe we do.
But what interests me more are the transcendent experiences that don’t have such clear consequences. There have been times in my life where I do feel that there is something bigger, more beautiful, and extremely powerful surrounding me. It’s not about intuitively predicting an outcome or looking into the future. In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s a moment of nowness. I can think of a couple examples:
In Philly, at 2nd Street Subway Station, there is a bend in the tracks, just about 200 feet down the line. It’s where the two tracks curve from East-West to North-South. There is a moment, I have only seen it three times, where the East bound train is curving north, and the Westbound train is making its way south and eventually west. There are a few seconds when the light from one train reflects off the other as it curves out of sight. It sounds so ordinary, but something about the beauty of these two moving machines creating something in harmony touched a chord deep within me.
More often than not, I find these moments when I’m in nature. I had many instances of this feeling on my trip. Two weeks ago I saw a group of birds dancing together in the sunset. The moment I saw the Tetons for the first time, and the Northern Lights. Some experiences have been simple and tucked away and others have been grandiose and blatant. It feels like I’m looking into another dimension of our world. The layers of reality are peeled back and I’m able to experience something greater, even if it is ephemeral.
Do you think everybody has the ability to look beyond and experience this feeling? Or is it more about opening our eyes and hearts to the possibility? If so, are there any ways that I can invite these experiences into my life more? and have you ever had moments where something you see or do allows everything to fade away and fills you completely with the feeling of life and beauty?
2017.